Cyber bullying and online safety

What is cyber bullying?

Cyber-bullying sometimes also called as online bullying, can be defined as the use of technology to deliberately hurt, threaten, upset, harass or embarrass someone else. It can be an extension of face-to-face bullying, with the technology offering the bully another route for harassing their victim, or can be simply without motive.

Cyber-bullying can occur using any form of connected media, from nasty text and image messages using mobile phones, to unkind blog and social networking posts, or emails and instant messages, to malicious websites created solely for the purpose of intimidating an individual or virtual abuse during an online multiplayer game.

Cyber-bullying differs from other forms of bullying in several ways:

·         It can invade the home and personal space of the victim.

·         Potential size of the audience is much greater.

·         Upsetting information (messages or images) can be spread at great speed.

·         Difficulty in controlling and removing anything posted or circulated electronically.

Because of its faceless nature it is often a perceived anonymity to cyber-bullying. This can lead to people becoming involved in activities that they wouldn’t dream of in the real world.

Because many kids are reluctant to report being bullied, even to their parents, it's impossible to know just how many are affected. But recent studies about cyber-bullying rates have found that about 1 in 4 teens have been the victims of cyber-bullying, and about 1 in 6 admit to having cyber-bullied someone. In some studies, more than half of the teens surveyed said that they've experienced abuse through social and digital media.

Severe, long-term, or frequent cyberbullying can leave both victims and bullies at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders. In some rare but highly publicized cases, some kids have turned to suicide. Experts say that kids who are bullied — and the bullies themselves — are at a higher risk for suicidal thoughts, attempts, and completed suicides. Because of that certain types of cyberbullying can be considered crimes.

Key issues to be aware of cyber-bullying

·         The relentless nature of cyber-bullying

The key difference between cyber-bullying and face-to-face bullying is that it can be relentless in its nature. Few years back when young people had less connectivity with internet, bullying would stop at the school gate or the front door with the home providing a safe net, this is no longer the case. But today young people connected 24/7 with internet, which also means they can be contacted and bullied with the same intensity.

·         Revealing too much personal information

The issue of revealing too much personal information is one of the greatest concerns associated with online technologies today, and can increase the risk of harassment or cyber-bullying. Personal information, whether in the form of text or images, can be used and manipulated by bullies.

·         Respecting the privacy of others

Another key issue is respecting the privacy of others. In the same way that all technology users should be mindful of revealing too much information about themselves, they should also be mindful of what their online postings and interactions reveal about others. 

This can work both ways in terms of cyber-bullying: young people may be a target of cyber-bullying as a result of their online postings about others, or could indeed themselves cross the fine line between engaging in ‘fun’ in online, to causing someone else hurt and distress through their comments and actions. The best rule is to always treat others online as you would wish to be treated yourself.

What are the ways that cyber-bullying could happen?

·         Mobile phones

Mobile phones are a key tool associated with cyber-bullying. Being such a private and personal device, they can offer a direct route for the bully to access their target, any time. The camera capabilities of most mobile phones can further aggravate the risk of cyber-bullying. Images or video can be taken, perhaps even without the subject’s knowledge or consent, and quickly circulated or posted online. This can further add to the distress of the victim.

  

·         Chat-based services

Chat-based services have also been associated with cyber-bullying, with postings starting of as ‘online fun’ sometimes crossing the line into more serious, and prolonged, verbal attacks. 

Positive parenting strategies for dealing with cyber-bullying

There are various strategies that parents might adopt to raise awareness of cyber-bullying with their children. 

·         Take action

Young people need to know that they should take prompt action if they are being bullied online. 

 The following tips specifically designed to help children and young people keep control of their online lives:

1.       Don't reply to messages that are meant to harass or upset you. This is likely to encourage the bully.

2. Keep the message: you don't have to read it, but keep it as proof of harassment. It is vital to have a record of the incident when you look for help or want to report it.
3. Report problems to people who can do something about it. You can take control by not putting up with offensive content or by reporting it to the website owners when you come across it. Incidents that could be illegal should be reported to the authorities.
4. Block the sender. You don’t have to put up with someone harassing you - block unwanted senders!
5. Tell someone you trust. Talking to your parents, friends, a teacher, youth leader is usually the first step in dealing with any issue.
6. Respect yourself and respect others - being online is very public and very real, although it doesn’t always feel that way. Know your rights! Be creative! Be yourself! Be in control!

The Keep Control website (http://keepcontrol.eu/)  is available in a number of languages, and provides further information and resources for blocking and beating bullying online.

·         Talk often

The most important online safety strategy, regardless of the technology or issue involved, is to maintain an open dialogue with your child about their digital lives. Strict internet filtering at home may help protect children when they are inside your house but it doesn’t help solve the real issues with cyber-bullying and the misuse of technology. 

Set ground rules for using technology - and have penalties for if they are abused - but try not to impose fear in your child that their online access will be taken away from them if they do encounter problems.

If problems do occur, talk through the issues in a calm and rational way, and try to help your child devise sensible self-protection strategies should they encounter problems again in the future. 

  

·         Let them know it’s OK to block or disconnect

Let your children know that it’s OK to block ‘buddies’ or just disconnect from the service if someone or something is making them feel uncomfortable online. Ultimately they are in control, and have a right to make decisions about who has access to them online. If they do choose to block or disconnect, it’s still a good idea for them to talk through the issues with a known and trusted adult: this can help children and young people to reaffirm that they acted in safe and positive way, and can bolster their self-protection skills for the future.

Know where to get help and advice if things do go wrong

If you or your children do experience problems relating to cyber-bullying, or indeed any other online safety issue, it is important to recognize that you are not alone - there are a number of organizations that can provide help and advice. 

Many countries operate national helplines (http://www.saferinternet.org/helplines), or visit your national awareness centre website (http://www.saferinternet.org/countries)  for further information on a range of online safety issues, including contacts and campaigns in your country.

·         Yahoo!7 Safely

Yahoo!7 Safely website provides resources to assist you to make smart and safer choices online. There is also advice on using Yahoo! products safely. (http://au.safely.yahoo.com/)

·         Google Family Safety Centre

The Google Family Safety Centre provides parents and teachers with tools to help them choose what content their children see online. The centre also offers tips and advice to families about how to stay safe online. (http://www.google.com.au/familysafety)

·         Facebook Safety Centre

The Safety Centre provides tools to assist you to stay safe while using Facebook. You can also find other safety resources to help you whenever and however you use the internet. (http://www.facebook.com/safety)

When your child is the bully

Finding out that your kid is the one who is behaving badly can be upsetting and heartbreaking. It's important to address the problem head on and not wait for it to go away.

Talk to your child firmly about his or her actions and explain the negative impact it has on others. Joking and teasing might seem harmless to one person, but it can be hurtful to another. Bullying in any form is unacceptable; there can be serious (and sometimes permanent) consequences at home, school, and in the community if it continues.

Remind your child that the use of cellphones and computers is a privilege. Sometimes it helps to restrict the use of these devices until behavior improves. If you feel your child should have a cellphone for safety reasons, make sure it is a phone that can be used only for emergencies. Set strict parental controls on all devices.

To get to the heart of the matter, talking to teachers, guidance counselors, and other school officials can help identify situations that lead a kid to bully others. If your child has trouble managing anger, talk to a therapist about helping your son or daughter learn to cope with anger, hurt, frustration, and other strong emotions in a healthy way. Professional counseling also can help improve kids' confidence and social skills, which in turn can reduce the risk of bullying.

And don't forget to set a good example yourself — model good online habits to help your kids understand the benefits and the dangers of life in the digital world.